When the LORD seemingly depart
This post is about spiritual despair, sorrow, sadness, and emptiness that can arise in the life of a Christian.
And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul (1 Samuel 18:2).
The LORD had departed from Saul, and we can read about the state of mind of Saul after this. He was totally lost, he seemed nearly mad, he mistrusted everyone, and a few chapters later can we read how Saul executed eighty-five priests because one of them had helped David, and then the whole city of Nob, where he completely annihilated everyone in that city, men, women, children, and even all the animals, only Abiathar was able to escape, and he fled to David who himself was on the run from Saul. This was the state of Saul in the end, he was by himself, God passed him by, let him alone (Matthew 15:14), he was a blind man leading other blind men right into despair, into darkness, and into judgment, and later death. Saul even takes his own life in an attempt not to be caught by the enemy (1 Samuel 31:4). This was the state of Saul. It is hard to imagine that the LORD’S anointed would fall into such despair, and into such sins, and it all started with his disobedience with not waiting on Samuel but that he himself offered the burnt offering (1 Samuel 13:1–14), and Saul cannot see his sin, and he does not repent, and God already here says that he will give the kingdom unto a man after his own heart, King David. A few chapters later, is Saul tasked to utterly destroy Amalek, this too did Saul disregard, and he cannot see his sins, he thinks he have done all that God has commanded (1 Samuel 15). He is totally blind and deaf, he sees nothing and understands nothing, this is the beginning of the end for Saul. After this we can see this madness upon Saul, God departs and sends an evil spirit upon Saul, “But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him” (1 Samuel 16:4). This was a way for God through his providence to make way for the intended king, a king after God’s own heart, David, into the inner circle of the kingdom. But David had no easy way unto the kingdom, he was persecuted by King Saul and had to hide for many years, God tested him, God made him into the king Israel needed.
Regarding Saul, God was departed from him, he was let alone, he might even be a reprobate, God knows. But we are not going to investigate Saul in this text, but I wanted to start with Saul and Scripture’s testimony about that God can depart from man in a true way. May it never happen to us, let us stay faithful to the LORD. Instead I want to talk about when the LORD seemingly departs. This is no less frightening, maybe more frightening since the one has not like Saul thrown God behind his back, but God is silent, life is heavy, man’s prayers are not answered, its like prayers stop at the ceiling, feeling all alone, forsaken, anxiety may enclose his being, fear being his air, heaviness of heart, melancholy, doubts, pain, despair of such a depth that no one can understand that concept without having experienced it. God is departed and everything he stands for. What is left? There is nothing left but pain, fear, despair, sorrow, emptiness, hopelessness, purposelessness, man is an empty shell of nothingness, life without the LORD is nothing, and still he let some of his children go through this. Why is that? Why do the LORD test his children? Why does the LORD seemingly depart from his children?
I cannot say that I have perfect answers to this, but I believe that I have a few things to say about this situation. It is clear that the LORD sometimes tests the believer, it is also clear that he sometimes chastises the believer, it is also clear that the LORD’S delay can make us review ourselves, to self-examine us. Do I have any biblical proof for any of this? Let us start in the OT and the book of Judges. Hear what the angel of the LORD says to the people.
And an angel of the LORD came up from Gilgal to Bochim, and said, I made you to go up out of Egypt, and have brought you unto the land which I sware unto your fathers; and I said, I will never break my covenant with you. And ye shall make no league with the inhabitants of this land; ye shall throw down their altars: but ye have not obeyed my voice: why have ye done this? Wherefore I also said, I will not drive them out from before you; but they shall be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you (Judges 2:1-3)
The people had not obeyed the voice of the LORD, therefore will he not drive out the people so that they can be a snare to them. God tested them.
In Deuteronomy God says that he will even allow a false prophet’s sign and wonder to come to pass to prove them, if they love the LORD with all their heart and soul.
If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder, And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them; Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him (Deuteronomy 13:1-4).
And when Joshua had died, and the elders that survived him had died the people forsook the LORD, Scripture says:
And the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel, and he delivered them into the hands of spoilers that spoiled them, and he sold them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies. Whithersoever they went out, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had said, and as the LORD had sworn unto them: and they were greatly distressed (Judges 2:14-15).
The LORD’S hand was against them. The LORD chastised them.
And Paul is exhorting the Corinthians to examine themselves:
Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? (2 Corinthians 13:5).
God is not testing us to see the end result of it, he is omniscient, he tests us so that we may know ourselves what we are. This, of course, means that we must have some sort of humility, or we will learn nothing from it, and the result can be a very extended time of terror and chastisement. God is not afraid of doing that, you can be sure of it. Read the OT, God will not hesitate to put you through the grinder if it will save you. Read Deuteronomy 28 or Lamentations. There is both chastisement that we as sons and daughters have to pass through, but sometimes it is punishment for sin, or consequences of sins we have committed.
Scripture is even saying that, if you are not chastised by the Lord, you are not his true child because God is chastising every true son and daughter, we shall not despise his chastening, or faint when we are rebuked; every son and daughter who he loves he will be chastening and even scourging. And if you receive nothing of this you are a bastard child, not his true child. And he is not chastening after his own pleasure bur for our own profit so that we may be partakers of his holiness. This is about sanctification, about being holy, as he is holy. And its fruit is righteousness (Hebrews 12:5:11).
His chastening or perceived silence; let us state for the record: God does not speak audible to us like the charismatics teach, or speak in this inner small voice, or inner dialogue, God speaks through his perfect Word. So when I speak about God’s silence, I am speaking of the night of the soul. David is saying for example in Psalm 42:5, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” LSB for example is translating this with despair, “Why are you in despair, O my soul. And why are you disturbed within me? Wait for God, for I shall still praise Him, for the salvation of His presence.” Keil and Delitzsh comments on this “signifies to bow one’s self very low, to sit down upon the ground like a mourner (Ps. 35:14; 38:7), and to bend one’s self downwards (Ps. 44:26). To utter a deep groan, to speak quietly and mumbling to one’s self. Why this gnawing and almost desponding grief? I shall yet praise Him with thanksgiving, praise, the ready succour of His countenance turned towards me in mercy.” God does allow this for our profit, for to be sanctified, to be part of our righteousness.
It seems also like God can do this to make us change our focus when we pray. Maybe our prayers are focused mainly on what we want. I am not speaking about sinful prayers like God shall give us a car, a home, or a job. God is not a Santa, he is our redeemer and Creator. But our prayers might be in a way humble, good, not directly contrary to Scripture, but they might still be about us mostly. Sometimes I think that God seemingly depart to make us understand such things. It might turn us to the Lord with another kind of prayer. We might instead start to pray in accordance with the will of God, to let us be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29), which must mean another form of obedience; Jesus Christ, the Son of God, lived a perfect life in perfect obedience to God, His Father. We might instead start to pray that our will shall be in accordance with His will, that our purpose shall be conformed to His purpose, so instead on focusing on what we want we start to focus on what God want with our life, what is God’s purpose for us. I believe that such a prayer is received by God.
Read Scripture and you will soon see that God is ready to put His children through great ordeals to make them holy, to save them, to make them conformed to His will. But He will also never put us through something above our ableness “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
God is so loving, and merciful, and he is full of grace, he is our Father in heaven, Creator of everything, his purpose is both revealed in Scripture, and is at the same time hidden to us within God himself; let us come to him in earnest prayer in the name of our Saviour Jesus Christ, with a true self-examination, reading his Word, to get to know him, to get to understand him, to see him as he has revealed himself to us, and he will give us the answer we need. It might take time because of of what are stated above, or because of hidden purposes in God, but if we truly seek him, we will find him, “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). When our heart is set out to find him for him, not for what he can give us, then we will find him.